So Rude!

"She was soooooo rude!"

"That guy was rude to me!"

"I don't want to talk to her again, she's rude!"

Familiar?

Probably the only word in our language that is more overused other than the word 'love' is the word 'rude.'  I can't seem to go a day without hearing someone talking about how rude someone else is!

I hear people tell me my team is rude.

I hear my team tell me that people are rude.

I hear my team tell me that someone on our team is rude.

I hear clients tell me my colleagues at other agencies are rude.

I've used the word 9 times in 10 sentences.

All that being said, I hope you can relate to me. Quite frankly, I'm sick of it. What's interesting to me is that I can interact with these same 'rude' people and have a perfectly pleasant experience.  Why is that? Do some people treat me differently because I'm a man? Probably a few. Do people treat me better than others because I'm an authority figure? Maybe some do. But for the most part, I think I'm able to have positive experiences with 'rude' people because of a principle I learned years ago from Dr. John C. Maxwell.

In his book, Winning With People, Dr. Maxwell illustrates what he refers to as the "Lens Principle." The Lens Principle states that who we are determines how we view others.

People who are trustworthy tend to view other people as trustworthy.

People who are generous tend to view others as generous as well.

People who are kind tend to view others as kind as well.

Do you want to know why I rarely have rude encounters?  It's because I generally believe the best in people. I get proven wrong from time to time but most of time, but those instances are rare and far between.

I generally view folks as kind and compassionate and assume they have a servant's heart. When I talk to someone, I call them by their first name (if appropriate), I smile while we talk, and I use effective listening skills to communicate with them.

When I do that something amazing happens!  I usually get people to smile back at me. People call me Adam or 'sir'.  People look for ways to go the extra mile to help me.  I make a personal connection and my network grows.

I'm telling you that this principle works for me.

If you're the type that always seems to run into rude people--consider that maybe they're not the problem. 

I'll leave you with this illustration from Winning with People:

A traveler nearing a great city asked an old man seated by the road, "What are the people like in this city?"

"What were they like where you came from?" the man asked.

"Horrible," the traveler reported.  "Mean, untrustworthy, detestable in all respects."

"Ah," said the old man, "you will find them the same in this city ahead."

Scarcely had the traveler gone on his way when another stopped to inquire about the people in the city before him.  Again, the old man asked about the people in the place the traveler has just left.

"They were fine people:  honest, industrious, and generous to a fault," declared the second traveler. "I was sorry to leave."

The old man responded, "That's exactly how you'll find the people here."