My Mentors

On Sunday morning I was in church listening to a fantastic lesson on letting God relieve our anxiety. While the lesson was very edifying and encouraging, I admittedly spent a brief time letting my mind wander. Now, before you report me to God, I want to let you know that I really began to think about the speaker delivering the message.

He's one of my mentors.

I've come to know Roy since he joined our congregation a few years ago. Since then, he and his lovely wife have served as an excellent role models for us. As a matter of fact, he's one of my top five favorite speakers.

Having mentors is incredibly important no matter where you are in life and its important to have different mentors for different aspects of your life.

In my spiritual life, I have older people that I look up to and try to duplicate the things they do well. Some of the go to church with me, some don't. Some I see each Sunday and some I don't see in person for years at a time. But in either case, I have the ability to ask them questions and benefit from their wealth of information and experiences.

In my professional life, I have many different mentors. Some are ex-employers, some are colleagues and some are simply men and women that are successful and their success translates between industries. As a matter of fact, that is one reason why I'm a member of my local Lions Club. I joined my club because it is full of people that are older than me and are doing well professionally. They freely give me advice and set a positive example for me.

Believe it or not, I have some mentors that I've never met in person! I am mentored by the writing of Dave Ramsey, John Maxwell, Michael Hyatt, Dr. Meg Meeker, Jon Acuff, Patrick Lencioni, Dan Cathy, and others. I don't have to have conversations with these folks to be mentored by them. I can take their published work via book, blog, video, etc, and learn valuable lessons from them.

The reason that I have mentors and the reason that mentors are so important to me are:

1. I have a lot to learn. And so do you. That being true, if someone can offer me positive advice--who am I to turn it down? Obviously I am careful about who I take advice from but when someone that is winning tells me how they are winning, I will listen.

2. A mentor's scars are my lighthouses. I would prefer not to get beaten up by life. If I want to avoid being beaten up and crashing into jagged rocks, I'd better look for lighthouses. Good mentors will share their negative experiences along with their positive experiences. By taking heed of spiritual or professional pitfalls, you can avoid some pain.

3. I fail. Not all the time but occasionally, I fail at something or at the very least I get discouraged. One thing mentors will do is help pick you back up and encourage you as you recover from failure. When they tell me that it will be okay, you have to believe them because they're credible! They know that I will be okay because they have failed before too and they're okay.

Mentors are such a key part of my life and if they aren't part of yours, you should seek out ways to add these types of people into your life.

Income Inequality & Sulphur Springs

I think that Sulphur Springs is a pleasant little town.

We have rich folks. We have poor folks. We have a lot of people that live somewhere between those two extremes. On the news we hear (and especially ahead of the annual State of the Union speech) about the income inequality in America. 

If you haven't heard a lot about this, here's an article from USA Today: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/01/23/pew-poll-obama-wealth-gap-sotu/4777385/

Of course, whenever you broach the subject of income, people on both sides of the debate have strong opinions. To simplify the issue for my tiny brain, it seems like the issue is:

     Should the government intervene by funneling more dollars to human services programs and/or    become more lenient on eligibility criteria for those programs, thereby increasing the number of households receiving federal/state subsidies?

     If the answer to that is yes, should the wealthy people in America be forced to pay more taxes to help fund these programs?

I'm confident that the issues are more diverse than that, but from what I've read and heard, that seems to be one of the core issues.  Should the government take more money from our richest citizens and redistribute it to our poorest citizens?

Coming from the director of a non-profit, human services agency, who literally gets paid to help people in need--I say 'No.'  I say 'No' to both parts of that question.

It is my opinion that when you take money from the rich and give it to the poor, you are doing two things:  1) You are forcing the people that have the most economic value to give their money to the government (which is well known for its trillion dollar budget deficit) so that they can fund the people that create the least economic value; and 2) You are enabling a culture of entitlement among the poor.

If the government MUST be involved, then instead of creating entitlement programs, why not fund grants (not loans) to small businesses?

I worked at a small metal art company in Clyde, Texas for a while. We were a business of 3 that manufactured and sold merchandise across the country.  That company was, and still is, at a point that because they lack capital, they cannot expand the business to increase their annual revenue.  If we had been given a grant (not a loan) from the government, do you know what the first thing we would have done was? 

Hire people.

As many of them as the grant allowed.

Immediately.

A small company in Clyde, Texas would have literally pulled people out of the unemployment line, food stamp line, etc. and restored their dignity and put them back to work. 

I currently run a small business.  We have so many customers that we don't really market our services that much because there's more work than we can currently handle. If our current grant was increased for the purpose of hiring more staff, do you know what I would do?

Hire people.

As many of them as the grant allows.

Immediately.

A small non profit company in Sulphur Springs, Texas would literally pull people out of the unemployment line, food stamp line, etc. and restore their dignity and put them back to work.

If the government is going to get involved in closing the income inequality gap, they need to shift their focus on taking money from the rich and handing it to the poor and focus on supporting the employers in America and letting private industry work.

Tattoos in A Small Town

So there I was....sitting at home after work one night this week watching an awesome combination of Pawn Stars and Duck Dynasty laughed at a ridiculous post on Facebook.

Some girl, we'll call her 'Random Girl,' posted on a local public Facebook forum with something along the following lines of foolish:

     "Does anyone know of a place in this town that will hire someone with tattoos and piercings? I can't find a job and I'm thinking its time to leave this small discriminating town to look for work."

I just had to read some of the comments for that post. Most of them were sensible naming off tons of local businesses that employed folks with tattoos and piercings and others pointed out that even in a small town, most businesses don't mind tats and the ones that do simply ask that they be covered while you're working. Sensible comments, I thought.

But the best one was from Random Girl. She had to chime back in with a line stating, "I asked for job opportunities, not lectures."

Brilliant!

I had to laugh and click on Random Girl's profile to see just how crazy her tattoos were. Turns out, from the pictures that she's posted and not bothered to make private, her tattoos are hardly noticeable.

What is noticeable is the poses and the lack of modest clothing.

Did I mention that she didn't bother to make any of this private?

As and employer of a small business in a small town, let me be so bold as to speak for the majority of my colleagues here--we don't care nearly as much about your tattoos and piercings as we do about your ability to exercise good judgment and your ability to accept responsibility for your own actions.

Good judgment--Before you claim that you're being discriminated against (which employers take VERY seriously) make sure that you exercise good judgment. Don't post anything online that you would be embarrassed to see posted on the bulletin board at church or in a employee break room. Employers can and do research you online if you are a candidate for a job. Posting negative comments and immodest pictures show employers that you don't take yourself or others seriously and you don't exercise good judgment.

Accept responsibility--Before you blame employers for your unemployment, consider your own actions and take responsibility. If you want tattoos to express yourself and your individuality, that's cool with me but before you get the permanent ink, consider that you can be limiting your employability if you can't or are unwilling to cover it up. If that's a risk you're prepared to take, then more power to you. If you're not willing to take that risk, don't get the ink. Accept responsibility for your actions.

I've employed people with tattoos and piercings on their face. I don't care. What I don't hire are people that don't exercise good judgment and don't accept responsibility for their decisions.

With that, Random Girl, good luck in the a big town. $20 bucks says you'll find the same attitude with employers there as you did here in Sulphur Springs.

So Rude!

"She was soooooo rude!"

"That guy was rude to me!"

"I don't want to talk to her again, she's rude!"

Familiar?

Probably the only word in our language that is more overused other than the word 'love' is the word 'rude.'  I can't seem to go a day without hearing someone talking about how rude someone else is!

I hear people tell me my team is rude.

I hear my team tell me that people are rude.

I hear my team tell me that someone on our team is rude.

I hear clients tell me my colleagues at other agencies are rude.

I've used the word 9 times in 10 sentences.

All that being said, I hope you can relate to me. Quite frankly, I'm sick of it. What's interesting to me is that I can interact with these same 'rude' people and have a perfectly pleasant experience.  Why is that? Do some people treat me differently because I'm a man? Probably a few. Do people treat me better than others because I'm an authority figure? Maybe some do. But for the most part, I think I'm able to have positive experiences with 'rude' people because of a principle I learned years ago from Dr. John C. Maxwell.

In his book, Winning With People, Dr. Maxwell illustrates what he refers to as the "Lens Principle." The Lens Principle states that who we are determines how we view others.

People who are trustworthy tend to view other people as trustworthy.

People who are generous tend to view others as generous as well.

People who are kind tend to view others as kind as well.

Do you want to know why I rarely have rude encounters?  It's because I generally believe the best in people. I get proven wrong from time to time but most of time, but those instances are rare and far between.

I generally view folks as kind and compassionate and assume they have a servant's heart. When I talk to someone, I call them by their first name (if appropriate), I smile while we talk, and I use effective listening skills to communicate with them.

When I do that something amazing happens!  I usually get people to smile back at me. People call me Adam or 'sir'.  People look for ways to go the extra mile to help me.  I make a personal connection and my network grows.

I'm telling you that this principle works for me.

If you're the type that always seems to run into rude people--consider that maybe they're not the problem. 

I'll leave you with this illustration from Winning with People:

A traveler nearing a great city asked an old man seated by the road, "What are the people like in this city?"

"What were they like where you came from?" the man asked.

"Horrible," the traveler reported.  "Mean, untrustworthy, detestable in all respects."

"Ah," said the old man, "you will find them the same in this city ahead."

Scarcely had the traveler gone on his way when another stopped to inquire about the people in the city before him.  Again, the old man asked about the people in the place the traveler has just left.

"They were fine people:  honest, industrious, and generous to a fault," declared the second traveler. "I was sorry to leave."

The old man responded, "That's exactly how you'll find the people here."

Call Me

I remember being 20 years old, in college, sitting in the registrar's office, attempting to get next semester's class schedule lined out. I remember being told, "You'll need to go to your department office for your major so that they can register you." Although irritating, I left the office, walked across campus to my departmental office only to find out that "we can't register you here, you'll have to let the registrar's office know that."

I left. Irritated.

I go back to the registrar's office, wait to see someone, finally get in, relay the message from my department only to hear, "well, all I know is that they have to register you."

My brain wanted to explode.

I sat there in complete discontent. My eyes found themselves wandering the desk of the office worker that decided to stonewall me. Lo and behold, on her desk, I noticed a magical device capable of connecting two people and allowing them to have a conversation in real time. She had a phone on her desk.

"Is there any way that you could just call over to my department's office and tell them what they or I need to do?" I begged.

"No."

Her answer didn't register with me. It baffled me that she couldn't pick up the phone, dial the extension of her co-workers in my department and work out whatever problem existed. Instead, she preferred that an irresponsible 20 year old college student relay messages across campus for her.

I don't know if your industry is like the human service industry but in human services, it seems like we tend to have the same mindset as the belligerent registrar.

All of us have the technology to communicate with each other (telephone, e-mail, etc.)

All of us support mutual partnerships, cooperative relationships and continuum of care between us.

Yet, when we need to relay messages to one another, we tend to rely on clients to carry the messages. We ask people that are struggling and at least in that moment are interested in self preservation to relay accurate and honest interagency communications.

Anyone else see the problem here?

I consistently have clients that sit in my office that tell me that Ms. So and So at the other office told me that you would pay my bills this month.   I turn and look at my phone only to find that I have no missed calls or voicemails. I check my cell phone to find it blank. I refresh my e-mail to find an empty inbox. As it turns out, Ms. So and So told the client that our agency might be able to assist them.

The client changed the message.

Here's my plea--if you are a colleague of mine and you need my agency's services to assist a client, call me. Since I'm not always sitting next to my phone, I happily provide my personal cell phone number. Everyone has my e-mail. Don't allow clients to take your accurate message and change it.

It is frustrating.

It is as frustrating as being 20 years old, in college, sitting in the registrar's office, attempting to get next semester's class schedule lined out.

We as human service workers need to be willing to place personal phone calls to each other if there is legitimate need for interagency cooperation. If you send a client to a colleague with a message to relay, you need to be prepared for your message to be ignored or changed.

Is this a frustration in your industry?

Podcasts

Nearly two years ago, I was up on top of my house on a chilly Sunday afternoon putting up Christmas lights. Around the house, I typically don't work without my phone and headphones on. I remember sitting on the edge of my roof clipping strands of lights to my shingles while Dave Ramsey was speaking to me about ways to better run my company.

Wait....

What?

It was right at two years ago when I discovered podcasts. For those unfamiliar with podcasts, this is sort of an audio blog. I use iTunes for downloading my podcasts, though I'm sure there are other programs.

Since then I have come to value podcasts as a way of my ongoing professional development. The two professional podcasts that I subscribe to are free and thus, offer me tremendous value. For this blog entry, I simply want to share with you the two professional podcasts (though there are others I enjoy) that help me the most with leading our agency.

Dave Ramsey's 'Entreleadership'

I have been a fan of Dave Ramsey's work for a long time. My family and I use his principles from Financial Peace University and I use what he teaches in his book 'Entreleadership.' 

Currently, his podcast is hosted by Chris Hogan, part of Dave's speakers group. This podcasts focuses on various parts of Entreleadership and most of the podcasts feature a portion of Dave speaking at Entreleadership events. After that, Chris will typically interview an author, speaker or business leader to gain insight into how that person runs their company or performs his/her job.

Entreleadership is typically podcast a couple of times each month and is a free download on iTunes. It's actually from this podcast that I was introduced to.....

Michael Hyatt's 'This is Your Life'

Michael Hyatt, former CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers, was being interviewed on the Entreleadership podcast when his book 'Platform: Getting Noticed in a Noisy World' came out. In that interview, I was motivated to purchase his book and have since recommended it everywhere that I've been able to speak since.

Michael's podcast is called, "This is Your Life" and he focuses on intentional leadership. Typically produced once each week, Michael focuses on a different aspect of leadership. My favorite thing about his podcast is that, I believe without exception, he gives the listener specific action items to take to become more intentional in his/her leadership. Michael also answers listener questions on the podcast.

Michael's podcast also feels very relatable. He is very honest with his listeners when he modifies the format of the podcast, is going out of town, struggling with a specific issue, etc. In addition to his podcast, he also interacts regularly on Twitter (@michaelhyatt). 

I mentioned earlier that I do like listening to podcasts other than these two, but as far as my growth as a leader goes, these are my 'go-to' listens. Where else in the world could you get two authors who are as successful as these two are and the wealth of experience and knowledge they bring to the table for free?  I appreciate their work and that they offer this gift to folks like me that could use every ounce of help that we can get!

Keep First Things First

This may blow your mind:

Some people in this world make decisions based upon what makes them happy.

At first glance, you may look at that statement and think, "Well, that seems okay.  Why not do things that make you happy?  Why not avoid decisions that make you unhappy?"

The truth is that happiness is based on circumstances.  Happiness is fluid.  Happiness isn't an anchor.

The truth is that ten years ago, I was happy.  I was in college and I loved to party.  I didn't care about class.  As long as I could hang out with the guys, I was happy.  I worked just enough to pay rent and buy food and buy booze.

If I wanted to make decisions based on what made me happy, I would still be that guy. 

Fortunately for me, I got over that phase in my life and re-examined my priorities and started to build a life based on my priorities and not what made me happy.

As I've grown and matured, my list of priorities hasn't changed much.  I use my priorities as an anchor in my life and I make my decisions based on them.  What I've found is that I have found a more fulfilling happiness when I make decisions that are consistent with my priorities.

Here's mine:

1.  God.  If I lose everything else in my life, I'll be okay as long as I'm a child of God.  I'm committed to Him.  Not only am I committed to living a lifestyle that's pleasing to Him, but I am also committed to being a worker in His church.  Hopefully, one day I'll have the opportunity to serve as an elder for the congregation that I attend and will bear the obligation of overseeing His flock and accounting for those souls.  God reigns supreme in my life. 

2.  My wife.  Initially, my instincts are to lump my kids in here as well but until I'm faced with the unlikely movie scenario of having to chose to save the life of my wife OR the life of my children, I can afford to segregate the two.  Here's my point--my wife is my sister in Christ, my best friend, my lover, and favorite person on earth.  One of the best things I can do for my kids is to love their mom like crazy--and I do!

3.  My kids.  I have two living outside the womb and one living inside the womb.  I realize that right now, my time with my babies is finite.  I will only have a limited number of baseball and softball games to attend.  I will only have so many birthdays and Christmas mornings.  I only have a few days that I get to take them to school in the mornings.  I'll never get this time back and I know that I have to enjoy it while it lasts.

4.  My family.  I'm a son, brother, grandson, nephew and cousin.  I only have the one family and as hard as it is sometimes, I have to make sure that I can contribute to the well being of my family and make them proud of me.

5.  My job.  It's my means of providing a living for my family.  It's my way of giving back to the community.  It's my way of growing as a professional.  It makes me proud. 

Whenever I want to make changes in my life, I must base that decision on the above mentioned priorities.  For example, I was offered a job opportunity that was going to be a good deal for me professionally (Priority 5).  It would have made me happy.  Awesome!  The problem was that I'd have to work from 1-9 p.m. and on weekends.  I would lose my ability to go to church (Priority 1) and I'd lose the time I get to spend with my wife and kids (Priorities 2 &3). 

The deal had to be a no-go. 

No drama, no indecision, no difficulty.  Easy decision. 

When you establish and live by your priorities, decisions become clearer and easier.

What are your priorities?